Science!

* 'Runner's high' confirmed by brain scan.

* Seven to thirteen minutes. That's all it takes. I'm a little tempted to throw up the "Business Time" video again, but I'll restrain myself for now.

* A classic study from 196 shows the placebo effect working even when the patient knows it's a placebo. Another study from 2002 shows the efficacy of placebo anti-depressants increasing over time (!), presumably as the idea of an anti-depressant gained more cultural capital. And a study released this week shows that more expensive placebos are more effective than cheap or free placebos.

A new days ago, I brought you news of the G Spotter™, which makes it possible "to determine by a simple, rapid and inexpensive method if a woman has got a G spot or not." We here at Gerry Canavan Industries are following that incredible device up with the CliMax 3000™, which can determine using a brain scan whether or not a woman has really had an orgasm or is just faking. I'll let the device's inventor speak for himself:

Professor Holstege said: "Women can imitate orgasm quite well."

I'll say. But, using science, at last this subterfuge can be exposed.

At left, a genuine orgasm. At right, the "tell-tale brain activity in a fake orgasm."



Remember, if it's not a CliMax™, it's just fake.

Holstege has some additional Science to share with would-be lovemakers:

"When you want to make love to a woman, you must give her the feeling of being protected."

This is precisely why the importance of hooking a woman up to brain-scanning equipment during the physical act of love cannot be overstated.

Also, lest it be said I never did anything for the good of humanity, allow me share another part of the study's results:

One thing that they found was putting the couples off the task was literally cold feet.

When they gave the couples socks to wear, about 80% of the couples were able to achieve orgasm compared with 50% previously in this staged environment.

This backs up earlier findings: