Waking Up on Christmas Morning Hours Before the Winter Sun's Ignited (Party Like It's 1999)

One of the cooler presents I got this morning was a solar-powered cell phone and iPod charger from Jaimee's parents. I haven't used it yet, and I don't have any clue what the carbon footprint of a device like this actually is, but I think it's cool as hell all the same. I also got a copy of the first two Action Philosophers trade paperbacks to match my well-worn Action Philosophers T-shirt—also definitely cool as hell. Most notably, however, Jaimee bought me some jeans, a deliberatively provocative action calculated to neutralize one of my more irrational stupid quirks and taboos, the fact that I haven't worn a pair of jeans in almost nine years.

Am I ready? You tell me.