Absolutely the greatest McSweeney's posting of all time: "What We Talk About When We Talk About Mad-Cow Disease."
Dan, Cheryl, and Clare were all vegetarians once but not anymore. We were having a barbecue. Dan and I were standing by the grill while Cheryl and my wife, Clare, were up on the patio, talking.
"The only thing that makes me sad about veal is when it's overcooked," I said. I was trying hard to be funny.
Dan chuckled, though I didn't believe him. "This isn't veal you're grilling," he said. "Tell me it isn't."
I didn't answer but went on: "Those poor baby cows suffered. On a certain level, it's the moral responsibility of the cook to make sure they're delicious. That's why overcooking veal is such a crime."
"I guess I can see that," said Dan. I was half certain he was fucking my wife. We were all alcoholics.