David Simon has written an article for Columbia Journalism Review that is absolutely, completely wrongheaded, arguing that The New York Times and The Washington Post should simultaneously erect paywalls for their online content. Contrary to Simon's assumptions, this would only destroy newspapers faster; paywalls have never, ever worked.

What newspapers actually need to do is find successful funding models for the digital age, up to and including reestablishing themselves as nonprofit organizations if necessary. More conversation at MeFi.

How MetaFilter ruins everything: That "Ruins of the Second Gilded Age" feature I linked to earlier today has been taken down after MetaFilter denizens demonstrated photoshopping.

We all know print journalism is dying and practically dead—but could the New York Times ever actually shut down? And what would that mean?

A fake New York Times of the future has appeared on the streets of New York.

Kottke notes only five events have garnered the 96-pt treatment on the front page of the New York Times.

MEN WALK ON MOON
NIXON RESIGNS
1/1/00
U.S. ATTACKED
OBAMA

Midday links.

* John McCain advisor Steve Schmidt goes off on the Times for accurately reporting reality's well-known liberal bias.

* According to a recent poll, 0% of Americans believe the economy is improving. You read that right. I don't think I've ever seen a poll report where 100% of the sample agreed on something; Bush truly is a uniter and not a divider. By the way, the Decider's overall approval rating is now a thundering 19%.

* Which is probably why McCain-Palin is using so much of the Bush braintrust.

* McCain says we have to put an end to golden parachutes for bad CEOs like his advisor Carly Fiorina, who received $45 million from HP after running the company into the ground. This follows his blistering attacks on the influence of lobbyists in Washington like his campaign manager, Rick Davis, paid $2 million over five years to lobby on behalf of Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac.

“The value that he brought to the relationship was the closeness to Senator McCain and the possibility that Senator McCain was going to run for president again,” said Robert McCarson, a former spokesman for Fannie Mae, who said that while he worked there from 2000 to 2002, Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac together paid Mr. Davis’s firm $35,000 a month. Mr. Davis “didn’t really do anything,” Mr. McCarson, a Democrat, said.

* And who better to put in charge of rebuilding the economy but the man who destroyed it almost single-handedly, Phil Gramm?

* And Tina Fey has just one wish.

"I want to be done playing this lady Nov. 5," she said. "So if anybody can help me be done playing this lady Nov. 5, that would be good for me."

Monday politics wrap-up.

* Condoleezza Rice seems to be having a little trouble deciding whether she wants to come back from the Dark Side or else keep up the good work.

* Classic gaffe for John McCain: he's accidentally leaked the U.S. government's knowledge of the top-secret Iraq-Pakistan border.

* He's also having trouble getting published in the New York Times. Don't feel bad, John, they won't publish my op-eds either.

* Novakula says we'll have the Republican VP by the end of the week. That screams Romney to me—the sooner he's tapped the sooner they can start spending his money, which (because McCain accepted public money) they can't spend after the RNC convention.

* Bush hits 21% approval, with 72% disapproval. Still a bit high.

* My Official George W. Bush "Days Left in Office" Countdown Count shows only 182 days left in our long national nightmare, but a Cheney-linked think-tank has proposed that Bush declare himself president-for-life.

President Bush can fail in his duty to himself, his country, and his God, by becoming “ex-president” Bush or he can become “President-for-Life” Bush: the conqueror of Iraq, who brings sense to the Congress and sanity to the Supreme Court. Then who would be able to stop Bush from emulating Augustus Caesar and becoming ruler of the world? For only an America united under one ruler has the power to save humanity from the threat of a new Dark Age wrought by terrorists armed with nuclear weapons.

Ball's in your court, Mr. President.

* And Ben Smith has your day in photographs. Obama's had a good week so far.