When they told me Democrats were Satan worshippers, I guess I really should have listened.

A Durham County [North Carolina] Democratic Party official was charged Wednesday as an accessory in a sexual assault case that includes allegations that a couple held a man captive in a dog cage.

A prosecutor has said that the case may have involved Satan worship, but a defense attorney for one of the three people charged said it seemed to be consensual sadomasochism gone awry.

The Pope has ordered his bishops to set up exorcism squads to tackle the rise of Satanism, reports the always 100% accurate Daily Mail. The Vatican has denied it, but of course they'd have to—the war with the forces of darkness must always be waged in secret...