Unexpectedly busy day yesterday. Here are some links.

* One of Flashforward's creators has apparently been fired, suggesting the show might get better soon. Nerds may also rejoice at the news that Brannon Braga isn't actually involved with Flashforward at the moment, as he's off driving 24 further into the ground.

* "Good Ol' Gregor Brown" and other "Masterpiece Comics."



* The future of academia? UNC Chapel Hill has made Spanish 101 online-only.

* More bad news for NJ's Chris Christie in advance of next month's election: federal prosecutors gave the New York Times specifics on how one of his former assistants, to whom he made a large, undisclosed loan, may have improperly helped his campaign. Lautenberg isn't an independent observer by any means, but for what it's worth he's called for a federal investigation.

* Columbia has suspended its environmental journalism program. Because the environmental crisis is so 2008.

* A new book called Manthropology makes a lot of claims about the "inadequate modern male" that don't seem right.

Many prehistoric Australian aboriginals could have outrun world 100 and 200 meters record holder Usain Bolt in modern conditions.

Some Tutsi men in Rwanda exceeded the current world high jump record of 2.45 meters during initiation ceremonies in which they had to jump at least their own height to progress to manhood.

Any Neanderthal woman could have beaten former bodybuilder and current California governor Arnold Schwarzenegger in an arm wrestle.

Also, "manthropology"? Really?

It's becoming more and more apparent that conservatives simply take as fact anything that is broadcast on any Fox Network. First 24, now Prison Break.

Despite all that, we never tire of the specter of the Big, Bad, Villainous, Omnipotent Muslim Terrorist. They're back, and now they're going to wreak havoc on the Homeland -- devastate our communities -- even as they're imprisoned in super-max prison facilities. How utterly irrational is that fear? For one thing, it's empirically disproven. Anyone with the most minimal amount of rationality would look at the fact that we have already convicted numerous alleged high-level Al Qaeda Terrorists in our civilian court system (something we're now being told can't be done) -- including the cast of villains known as the Blind Shiekh a.k.a. Mastermind of the First World Trade Center Attack, the Shoe Bomber, the Dirty Bomber, the American Taliban, the 20th Hijacker, and many more -- and are imprisoning them right now in American prisons located in various communities.

We've been doing that for two decades. What are all the bad and scary things that have happened as a result? The answer is: "nothing." Take note, Chris Cillizza and friends: while it's true that "not a single prisoner has escaped from Gitmo since it was created," it's also true that no Muslim Terrorists have escaped from American prisons and our SuperMax prison "has had no escapes or serious attempts to escape." Actually, the only person to even make an escape attempt from a SuperMax is Green Arrow, who hasn't succeeded despite the help of Joker and Lex Luthor.

Seriously, that Green Arrow movie sounds pretty good. But how's he going to get hold of a bow while he's in prison, much less his trick arrows?

Meanwhile, Attackerman checks in from the Marvel Universe, where the picture is much more bleak.

I know I said I was going to cut back on link dumps, but in my defense I have been busy. I'm likely remain fairly busy (and therefore link dumping) until I get back from the inauguration, at which time I'll be able to devote more time and energy to blogging. In theory, anyway.

Anyway, the link dump.

* Bastard Tetris: the version of Tetris that does openly what all the others just do secretly. (Thanks Jacob!)

* Things to say during sex.

* Another call for a Bush administration truth and reconciliation commission. Via Yglesias, who has more on the subject, as does Steve Benen.

* Big ups to Will Wheaton, who Twittered yesterday: Best thing I've heard all day: "We're in the final 100 hours of the Bush administration."

* Douglas Wolk has Watchmen for dummies.

* The stimulus package needs more trains. More from Yglesias.

* What's in the stimulus for higher education? I could use a second yacht.

* Republicans continue to have trouble with the fact that 24 is not based on a true story.

* Name your child "Adolf Hitler" and you're labeled a prat, and that's the game.

* How many AAAAAs in KHAAAAAAAN? In honor of the late great Ricardo Montelban, Boing Boing reports. Via Bill.

* Is the world a giant hologram?

* And they're going to make a movie out of Jericho. (Failed-)TV-show-to-movie is officially the latest trend—things used to run the other way.

My personal theory to explain Wesley Clark's spectacular flameout from veepstakes contention this weekend is that Clark (a) knew he was an if not the obvious candidate for Obama's VP and (b) he nonetheless suspected, knew, or had been told outright that he wasn't going to get the slot—so in order to protect the Wesley Clark Brand he chose to quite publicly remove himself from consideration in such a way as to endear himself to the Democratic base in the process.

Just my theory.

But regardless of how it happened, Clark is almost certainly out, which I think ups the odds for some version of my prediction of a Virginia Strategem considerably (especially the Jim Webb version). Stepping in as a proxy for Clark in the Foreign Policy Ploy is apparently Joe Biden, who Walter Shapiro at Salon hypes today.

Personally I think a bolder choice is called for, but Shapiro could be right. If nothing else it will give right-wing trolls an excuse to call Obama "clean and articulate" in every comment thread on the Internet for the next eight years.

Elsewhere in Obamaland, the nation's third black president, 24's Dennis Haysbert, is taking credit for the Obama phenomenon, as well as for any other non-white-Christian-male presidents who may come along later. Is Morgan Freeman really going to stand for this?

Well, I'm showing up late today. Sorry about that.

* Scientists have taught monkeys how to control robotic arms with their thoughts. We are so screwed. Via Alex Greenberg, Matt Yglesias, and MetaFilter.

* 24: Season Two: The Musical. From the people who brought you Silence of the Lambs: The Musical. The first song at least made me laugh.

* National Geographic on "the real crystal skulls."

* Scott McClellan has his come to Jesus moment. More at The Nation. MetaFilter debates whether we should care.

* Via Tim, MoveOn is giving away free anti-McCain bumper stickers He's also got a telling link on a redacted CIA document on interrogation techniques that's been nearly entirely blacked out.

A Family Member of a Henchman Killed by Jack Bauer on 24 Remembers.

I suppose it would be easier to have fond memories of him if he'd had a name. It sounds terrible, but it's as if his character never really rose to the level of a name. Sometimes we'd try out "Viktor" or "Omar" or "Diego" or "Steven" or something, but nothing ever stuck. All the same, he'd respond to anything .We could have called him "Stick" and it would have been fine. Bear in mind, this is not unusual in our country. Many of us are nameless. I mean, the country itself doesn't have a name, after all. How screwed up is that? We're not Syria, we're not Russia, we're not any of the "Stans" or Mexico. What kind of country doesn't even name itself? Pretty lazy country, if you ask me. Oh sure, everyone's happy to hijack nuclear weapons and practice their icy glares and recruit secret U.S.-government accomplices, but no one can be bothered to name the country. Can anyone find us on a map? Take an afternoon, brainstorm, name the country, design a flag. Not that hard, you'd think.

I have every intention of sticking to my promise to pass on this season of 24, but good lord, it will be hard to pass up this level of cheese. Via AICN. I-thought-you-were-dead!-you-thought-wrong spoilers inside.

For of all sad words of tongue or pen,
The saddest are these: "It might have been!"

The last few weeks we've been Netflixing Jericho, the canceled / saved / soon-to-be-canceled-again post-apocalyptic drama from CBS. Like Lost and Heroes before it, the show functions in many ways as a testament to the greatness of HBO—what would have been a fantastic twelve-episode cable series is merely pleasantly diverting on a network. After a few episodes, the diminished production values, a lot of filler, and the necessity to always hew as close as possible to dramatic convention really began to weigh on me. (Things do pick up again a bit by the final third of the season, and by the end I was actually rather fond of the show—but it's definitely a guilty pleasure.)

I mean, it's pretty good for the networks—about as good/bad as a typical season of 24—and I'll definitely check out the second season, but despite all this Jericho just doesn't do what it set out to do. Which is really too bad, because by the end of the fourth episode I was pretty sure I was watching the best network TV show ever.

Despite the rapidly spiraling suckiness of each subsequent season of 24, and my increasingly angry vows never to watch the show again, somehow I always wind up watching the season premiere and then the rest of it. After season six I thought it was over. But can I dare miss a trainwreck like this?

JACK: I thought you were dead!
MYSTERIOUS FIGURE: You thought wrong.

[cut to clock]

History wept: Antonin Scalia is a moron.

The conservative jurist stuck up for Agent Bauer, arguing that fictional or not, federal agents require latitude in times of great crisis. "Jack Bauer saved Los Angeles. ... He saved hundreds of thousands of lives," Judge Scalia said. Then, recalling Season 2, where the agent's rough interrogation tactics saved California from a terrorist nuke, the Supreme Court judge etched a line in the sand.

"Are you going to convict Jack Bauer?" Judge Scalia challenged his fellow judges. "Say that criminal law is against him? 'You have the right to a jury trial?' Is any jury going to convict Jack Bauer? I don't think so.

"So the question is really whether we believe in these absolutes. And ought we believe in these absolutes."

Knowing the difference between escapist TV fantasy and real life ought to be a litmus test for being under 24-hour psychiatric care, much less being a supreme court justice.

As if the ludicrous badness of the last season of 24 weren't enough to put you off the show forever, there's 24: Day Zero, which looks to be a canonical series of deodorant commercials.

Prediction: 24's ratings plummet next year. That finale was as dull as the rest of the season—no easy task—with a faux cliffhanger that should embarrass even the most die-hard fans. I think I'm finally cured.