Reports from the other universe: imagining Russian cultural hegemony. Via Cynical-C.

Igor Panarin's prediction that the United States will dissolve into six smaller nations (previously) is getting some attention today due to a piece on the front page of The Wall Street Journal. Leave it to Steve Benen to pooh-pooh.

Slate's Ryan Grim noted a recent report outlining Panarin's vision for the future of the U.S.: "He predicted that the U.S. will break up into six parts -- the Pacific coast, with its growing Chinese population; the South, with its Hispanics; Texas, where independence movements are on the rise; the Atlantic coast, with its distinct and separate mentality; five of the poorer central states with their large Native American populations; and the northern states, where the influence from Canada is strong."

If this reflects Panarin's knowledge of the country, I have a hunch we'll be fine.

I'm just glad to see my concerns about a nighttime flight to Jersey were misplaced: North Carolina will apparently be joining the European Union too.

Paging Strange Maps...

A professor at the diplomatic academy of Russia’s Ministry of Foreign Affairs said the U.S. will break into six parts because of the nation’s financial crisis.

...“Dissatisfaction is growing, and it is only being held back at the moment by the elections, and the hope” that President- elect Barack Obama “can work miracles,” he said. “But when spring comes, it will be clear that there are no miracles.”

More at Drudge.

The-End-of-the-World-as-We-Know-It Watch.

* There's only one way out of the financial mess: spend, spend, spend. Democratic lawmakers are said to be already on this, with a special December session planned following the likely Obama victory next month. The bill is likely to focus around infrastructure, and that's good, but it needs to be green infrastructure—as I wrote last week, a "green recovery" is our best bet to fix both the economic and environmental crises in one go.

* The food crisis is reaching cataclysmic proportions in the Caribbean, with Cuba limiting sales and poverty-stricken Haitians forced to literally eat dirt to survive. Michael Pollan argues in the Times that food will be a central issue for the next administration despite its receiving almost no attention in the campaign.

* The situation in Iceland continues to astound. Britain has declared Iceland a terror-sponsoring state (seriously) as a pretext for seizing control of Icelandic assets within the U.K., while there's some talk that Russia may bail them out, presumably in exchange for Arctic access. I hope Matt's right and Canada eats Iceland before things get too crazy.

* But don't lose your heads—Stephen Hawking assures us that if we manage to survive the next 200 years, we'll be just fine.

The fringe theory that John McCain's campaign suspension gimmick was designed purely to distract attention from Palin's interview with Katie Couric gains some credibility with the previews CBS is putting out: Palin on Russia and Palin on the bailout. This is just ridiculous—for one, you can see her look at her notes in the bailout clip, and two, what she's saying doesn't make any damn sense at all.

That's why I say I, like every American I'm speaking with, were ill about this position that we have been put in. Where it is the taxpayers looking to bail out. But ultimately, what the bailout does is help those who are concerned about the health care reform that is needed to help shore up our economy. Um, helping, oh, it's got to be about job creation, too. Shoring up our economy, and getting it back on the right track. So health care reform and reducing taxes and reining in spending has got to accompany tax reductions, and tax relief for Americans, and trade -- we have got to see trade as opportunity, not as, uh, competitive, um, scary thing, but one in five jobs created in the trade sector today. We've got to look at that as more opportunity. All of those things under the umbrella of job creation.

Ready on Day 1.

Looks like it's time for Palin's second gaffe. This from ABC News:

EXCLUSIVE: GOV. SARAH PALIN WARNS WAR MAY BE NECESSARY IF RUSSIA INVADES ANOTHER COUNTRY

Buckle your seat belts.

UPDATE: ABC News now has the full exchange.

GIBSON: Would you favor putting Georgia and Ukraine in NATO?

PALIN: Ukraine, definitely, yes. Yes, and Georgia.

GIBSON: Because Putin has said he would not tolerate NATO incursion into the Caucasus.

PALIN: Well, you know, the Rose Revolution, the Orange Revolution, those actions have showed us that those democratic nations, I believe, deserve to be in NATO.

Putin thinks otherwise. Obviously, he thinks otherwise, but...

GIBSON: And under the NATO treaty, wouldn't we then have to go to war if Russia went into Georgia?

PALIN: Perhaps so. I mean, that is the agreement when you are a NATO ally, is if another country is attacked, you're going to be expected to be called upon and help.

But NATO, I think, should include Ukraine, definitely, at this point and I think that we need to -- especially with new leadership coming in on January 20, being sworn on, on either ticket, we have got to make sure that we strengthen our allies, our ties with each one of those NATO members.

We have got to make sure that that is the group that can be counted upon to defend one another in a very dangerous world today.

GIBSON: And you think it would be worth it to the United States, Georgia is worth it to the United States to go to war if Russia were to invade.

PALIN: What I think is that smaller democratic countries that are invaded by a larger power is something for us to be vigilant against. We have got to be cognizant of what the consequences are if a larger power is able to take over smaller democratic countries.

And we have got to be vigilant. We have got to show the support, in this case, for Georgia. The support that we can show is economic sanctions perhaps against Russia, if this is what it leads to.

It doesn't have to lead to war and it doesn't have to lead, as I said, to a Cold War, but economic sanctions, diplomatic pressure, again, counting on our allies to help us do that in this mission of keeping our eye on Russia and Putin and some of his desire to control and to control much more than smaller democratic countries.

His mission, if it is to control energy supplies, also, coming from and through Russia, that's a dangerous position for our world to be in, if we were to allow that to happen.

UPDATE 2: Matt Yglesias and HuffPo (and HuffPo) take on other aspects of the interview.

"President Clinton had opportunities to get Osama bin Laden. President Bush had opportunities to get Osama bin Laden. I know how to do it and I'll do it," he told ABC's "World News" in an interview.

Country first, John—call up Bush right now and tell him how. Via kos.

UPDATE: And it's a good thing Sarah Palin will be there beside him to help him with that new Cold War he's been trying to gin up:

GIBSON: Can you honestly say you feel confident having someone who hasn’t traveled outside the United States until last year, dealing with an insurgent Russia, with an Iran with nuclear ambitions, with an unstable Pakistan, not to mention the war on terror?

MCCAIN: Sure. And one of the key elements of America’s national security requirements are energy. She understands the energy issues better than anybody I know in Washington, D.C., and she understands. Alaska is right next to Russia. She understands that.

World News:

* Tim goes soft on the Latin American menace.

* Via Vu, the new Indiana Jones movie has angered some of our Russian comrades.

* This "We Are the World" parody from Japanese TV is like a three-minute glimpse into the next universe over. The original is a pretty classic cultural document of the '80s, as well, if it's been a few years since you've seen it...

Meanwhile, in that forgotten place called Not America, Bush's other poodle has been smacked hard in a landslide victory for Australia's Labor party, while Vladmir "Pootie-Poot"¹ Putin does the batshitcrazy thing I didn't think even he'd have the stones to do and has Gary Kasparov arrested.²

--
¹ Actual nickname.
² Never bet against Putin's stones.